Wake Up!!

Oh boy, I haven't written a blog entry for almost a month. The summer is passing me by. I have been living on baseball diamonds and out of my car. It has been fun but it has really taken the focus off of any sort of "training." I continue to work at it. I have run up to 5 miles at a crack and plan to reach for six this weekend.

But I have had a wake up call, my friends, my wonderful readers. Let me preface this by saying that I'm not looking for pity or comments telling me I'm wrong. I know what I saw. Here goes. I saw a photo of myself today. A really horrible one. At first, when I saw this photo, I didn't realize it was me. I saw a woman who looked like she needed a water pill. I was stunned and saddened when it struck me that I was looking at myself. Trust me, I wanted to run into traffic.

Let's talk about this. Body image SUCKS. I'm sure many of you can relate to the argument that takes place in my head on a daily basis. A constant battle of good and evil. Good tells me to be happy with who I am and to cherish my strengths. Evil reminds me that our sick and twisted society appreciates beauty and that beauty equals thin. I hate this battle almost as much as I hate baked apples. If you don't know me well, trust me, that's a lot of hate. Considering my profession, I should know how to work this battle out in my head. But I don't.

Good says things like "nice work out today" or "you did a really great job with that patient" or "what a great family you have." Evil responds with "how can someone who works out so much still be overweight" or "how did you let that guy talk you into another adderall prescription" or "you are not spending near enough time with your son." The trick is to remember that the good thoughts are usually the correct ones even though the evil ones are very convincing.

So now what? I really can't bear another round of Weight Watchers. I know I can work out more and I will. I have to for goodness sake, I'm running a half marathon in just over 2 months!! I also know I'll feel better tomorrow. I always do. But I swear to God if anyone brings donuts to work, my evil side is going to BURST!!