Yes, I know the title line is outdated. I couldn't help myself. It is so very appropriate to what is going on with me right now. I ran seven miles tonight. I cannot believe it myself. There was a very brief walk up a very steep but short hill that I refuse to count because of the difficulty level of the hill. When I was done, I decided that after this half marathon, I am never running again. Sorry, but I mean it. I have greatly appreciated all of your support, emails, and facebook posts. I am so happy that I have even inspired a few of you. I hate to disappoint, but I am done, retired after October 11. And here's why: I have lost my identity.
I have no idea who I am anymore. I cannot even see much of my former self when I look in the mirror. I do not recognize this woman in gym clothes. I do not understand the fixation with whole grains or the passion for arch support. You guys know me, most of you know me pretty well. I like hair stuff, and high heels; laying in lawn chairs and watching America's Next Top Model. This woman who I see in the mirror has a permanent sweaty ponytail and walks around in New Balance running shoes. My best lounge chair is full of spider webs and garage dust and I can't even tell you who was in the running to be the next Cover Girl.
Brats have been a fabulous summer treat. My actual self loves them. Tonight, this strange woman in my house had a turkey brat on a whole grain bun with chopped tomatoes and onions on top. To my horror, it wasn't even soaked in beer. And it was good. My father might disown me.
I hate this woman. She doesn't shop at the Gap or eat turtle sundaes. She wakes up early on Saturdays to run or go to yoga class. I don't do those things!! I love turtle sundaes and the more sleep the better. Who cares about doing the crow pose for more than 30 seconds???? Apparently she does. I did beat the crap out of her on Sunday night when I stayed out at a bar until it actually closed. The last time that happened I woke up in a frat house and had to walk home with no shoes. THIS woman would never let that happen.
Although I hate her, I also fear her. I hate to admit it but she is kind of cool. She's the one who talked me into buying a kayak, which I love. She got me to go on some marathon bike rides. She doesn't care if I look disgustingly sweaty or if I'm the only one crazy enough to get up at 5 AM on Thanksgiving morning to run a 5K. She is a lot more confident than me and willing to take risks that I never would have taken before.
OK, maybe I'll keep her around. But I'm NOT running :)
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